I was filling out some applications for bookstores today, and I got to the part where it says "Position Desired" and stopped. I thought about filling in "Cashier", but I'm not sure. I'd much rather stock the books on the shelves than be a cashier. But what is that position called? They're not stock workers, stock workers work night shifts, and I've already put myself through night shifts once, I can't do that again. So I stared at it a bit more, then decided to move on and fill out the rest of the application, and that I'd come back to fill it in later. I finished the rest of the application just fine and went back. That application's sitting next to me right now. I still haven't filled that box in.
It upsets me. I don't know what job I want. I need a paycheck. I don't want my life to just be a set of jobs for pay. I want to have a job that I know I can do for a prolonged period of my life...but I have no idea what job that is. I hate that I can't seem to map my own life out.
This is all very petty. I dislike the fact that I'm sitting here complaining about not knowing things about myself when there's much bigger things to be worrying about. I was talking with someone about this recently. I think it was Juli. I don't talk about things that bother me much. I don't usually like to. My problems are so small. I complain about such unimportant things. I mean, this is a piece of paper that I'm stumbling over. That's all it is. I'm being stumped by a piece of paper. People are in the hospital right now, and I'm whining about a piece of paper. *sigh*
This is why I try to keep my complaints minimal. Because it's not fair for me to make a big deal of such little things.
Smile like you mean it.
On days like these, smiles can change someone's day for the better. Always smile, even if it seems there's nothing at all to smile about.
~Rakumo
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Well. It's a hard decision to make really. I'd pick something other than cashier too even though I probably have the most experience in that area (and customer service.)
ReplyDeleteAnd it's okay to complain about small things that won't make a difference at the end of the day. Because it's fun. Like. Drawing arms. Ugh. I hate that.
I think there is a difference between complaining and complaining in a way that makes it seem like things are destroying your whole life.
"Crap, I don't know what I want."
"Fuck, I don't know what I want, and I want to die because this is stupid and now my life sucks and I'm an idiot."
Difference? You never sound like the bottom, so never worry about voicing your complaints or dissatisfaction. :]
<3333 hart u.